I don’t usually read the links to blogs posted on Facebook but when I do… They piss me off.
If you want to be pissed off too, and would like to know where I am coming from on this topic, feel free to read by clicking this link: http://wanderonwards.com/2013/12/30/23-things-to-do-instead-of-getting-engaged-before-youre-23/
First I would like to point out that this article is inconsistent throughout on the idea that marrying young is a bad idea which I’m gathering is the focus rather than the institution of marriage in general is stupid. She sounds like a child-impulsive, immature, ignorant, and close-minded. Why else do you date people if not to find a compatible mate to date and eventually marry. Or do people typically hope to never be married and to just coast through their long term relationship, crossing their fingers, hoping the discussion of marriage never comes up? That’s to say if you do eventually, someday WANT to be married. If not, good for you, but this article won’t matter to you.
How does this girl rationalize people who want to be married as lonely? Basing everyone who has gotten married under 23 off of her own immaturity and refusal to act like a responsible adult?
”Because at the age of 22, I have no idea who I am, what I’m doing and who I’ll be doing it with for the next year… let alone for the rest of my life. And that’s awesome.Some day, I want to get married too. I want a floor length dress with a ton of cleavage. I want it to be in Asia, with Ethiopian food, and a filthy scotch selection to calm my nerves when I inevitably start to panic and hyperventilate. But WANT and NEED are two entirely different things. I NEED to develop MY dreams and MYSELF before I can truly be the type of woman you WANT to marry.”
Look, if you are 22 and you don’t have it together and you are happy about it, great. More power to you. But please, don’t sum up all 22- with yourself. Because I know who I am, What I am doing, and who I want to be, for the next forever. And THAT is awesome. I didn’t hyperventilate and get nervous when I said I do to my husband nor the hour before I said it nor the morning I was going to say it, because I knew who I was marrying, why I was marrying him, and I knew that I had reached my full potential and that I couldn’t learn and grow anymore without him. Developing yourself and your dreams happens with time, whether you are single, married, or planning your wedding.
I moved across the country to a place where I had no friends, no family, no idea of where I was headed nor the orientation of the area I was moving to. I DID know I was going to go to school. I did know that my church was the same no matter where I went and that was my only comfort. I thought I had everything figured out when I graduated high school, I wanted to be a nurse, then I wanted to be a cardiac stenographer. When I moved to SLC, I thought I wanted to be a dental hygienist, but when I got a job at an Accounting firm I thought I would be an accountant, but that didn’t work out because I have no interest in looking at math everyday. My point is, I THOUGHT I knew who I was, what I wanted to do with my life, I had a plan, I was pursuing my dreams, then I met my now Husband, and he turned my world upside down and right-side up again. He challenged every view I had on life, what I was going to school for, what I wanted to do, what made me happy, and where I wanted to be, and what I want to have accomplished in the next 5 years. We dated for a year before we were engaged, and waited another 6 months before we were married. And why should my marriage be a cop-out? Have you ever heard the saying: “If your bf/person of interest says their exes were all crazy, what was the common denominator?… Them”. So nothing is wrong with you but everything is wrong with everyone else? Seriously? Are you that blinded by your ways of life that you can’t see all these people who are getting married are happy and that their must be something wrong with them because YOU have never had a serious relationship?? One sec while I die ROFL. Kay, hmm. I’m not really sure how else to put it to you. Either There must be something about you and your personality and your way of thinking or everyone else isn’t really happy, we’re all just lonely, needy, bored, insecure, afraid of life and desperate to ‘settle’ so we won’t have to deal with life. Um, hi. I’ve been living on my own since I was 16. I know what Life is about. I also acknowledge the fact that I am where I am today because of my own agency to make the decisions and choices I have made. That is something a self-respecting mature adult takes into consideration: Accountability. Which you seem to lack, blaming your state on everyone else and going with the mentality of your 15 year old CHILD sister “sorry but I’m not sorry” unfortunately shows a lot about your under developed character. Maybe you should adapt a new saying ”You can’t fix yourself by breaking someone else”. Calling these women who get pregnant fat… Reeeeeeaaalllly? Maybe while you are in China you can re-evaluate your outlook on life, and accept the fact that maybe married people are happy, romantically in love with each other, completely fascinated with their partner, inspired by their partner, excited about building their future with their spouse-even if they do want a white picket fence, instead of hanging around a window naked, eating jar of Nutella with the stranger you met watching Girls over and over again.
Moving on. Here are some fun things to do as a married couple, or if you are dating.
1. Make Dinner Sexy. Dress up and cook TOGETHER. I get my recipes from pinterest. Let’s face it, cooking from scratch is hard work. There are so many steps! So have your husband/date cook with you. I usually have my husband chop the veggies, meat, whatever and stir the sauces. And of course make it exciting and sexy! Light some candles, buy some nice plates, fancy wine glasses, and nice cloth napkins. We bought some really nice silky smooth black ones from TJ Max for $5. And don’t forget the garnish for the dish.Cooking is sexy and seeing the outcome of your hard-work and eating in the comfort of your own home in sexy candlelight makes for an awesome night.
2. Dance The Night Away. Try something new, my husband and I met at a Latin dance club. If you used to go dancing a lot like 3-5 years ago. Get back into the groove. Salsa not your thing? That’s okay, there are plenty of places to go dancing that all have different beats. My friends and I used to go to places that have an 80’s night and everyone dresses up in an 80’s look. just an example of something different. We love to go dancing a couple times a month at least. Just make sure to leave your pride at the door.
3. Travel. If you have the means to fly out somewhere, I urge you to travel! If you are close to big cities or landmarks. Go see them! When we lived in California, we were surprised at how many people who lived in San Jose, 30-45 minutes from SAN FRANCISCO had Never been there! So travel, even if you have to drive for hours! And enjoy the sights with your spouse! Who better to share these memories with? My husband and I reminisce on the times we spent on vacations, and trips. Plan it out, find the best restaurants in that area, sleep in, then travel some more. OH and take lots and lots of pictures.
4. Camera Time. Do a Photo-shoot. Have somebody take your pictures or if you have a schnazzy camera, set it up on a tripod or pile of boxes and set it on a timer. Look through magazines and pick out poses you like or make a video re-enactment of your favorite movie. Have fun, be silly. When I first got my camera to start my photography business, we set it on boxes, looked through an EXPRESS magazine and picked out poses. It was hilarious, some of the serious poses, I just could not stop laughing. I felt ridiculous but it was so much fun and the pictures turned out awesome! Let your inner model be unleashed!
5. Exercise Together. If you don’t already, start a routine. Join a club together like Kick Boxing, Cross-fit, Yoga, jiu jitsu, do P90X together or just get a gym membership together and commit to it. My husband and I go to the gym every other day. I never felt as confidant going by myself as I do with my husband.You might be surprised with what your husband knows about being in the gym ( I apparently have been lifting weights wrong). You can create a work out playlist for ya’ll to listen to while you work out. Or if you don’t have the same taste in music, you can still make separate playlists. What better way to spend your spare time than with your spouse, increasing your endorphins, while building muscle tone?
6. Take A Class. Play A Game. If you want something exciting try paintball war, laser tag, self defense class, pistol shooting or firearm safety class, or just go to a shooting range. For something low key try going to a museum, art gallery or take a painting, pottery, or cooking class. Go bowling, or to a comedy show. Think outside the box of going to the movies. Spend hours looking for a new perfume/cologne. It will be your ‘Special’ scent for date nights or romantic nights. Some people don’t bother to wear scents but you can never go wrong with having a special scent. And it’s great way to go together that way you can guide each other towards or away from the scents your do or do not like.
7. Learn A New Language Together. Sign up for a language course, buy the Rosetta stone or rent the audio books from the public library. What isn’t exciting about speaking a new sexy language like Spanish, Italian, or French? Build a playlist of nothing but songs in that language. I have a whole playlist on Spotify made of just songs in Spanish. Find your favorite songs and listen to them non-stop. Memorize the lyrics together then look up the translation online. This definitely helps learning a new language. Plus, then you can add Bilingual to your Resume = AWESOME + $$$
8. Jazz It Up. Look into your local newspaper, find the Live Band/Music section and pic a random band to go see play. How romantic and swanky to sit in the back with dim lights, listening to a band you’ve never heard of, experiencing something you’ve never done before. With such sophistication, I might add. It could be awesome, you may fall in love with the band, the ambiance, the mood, the vibe, or the feel of being somewhere low key with your sweetheart. There definitely are potentially amazing memories to share here.
9. Circus Is In Town. Look up events happening in your area or close by. Hot Air Balloon rides? Carnival, Circus or Festival coming soon? Renaissance Festival? Light show? Magician show or the Blue Men group? Maybe your favorite band will be performing an hour away? Or maybe there is a Color or Mud Run going down soon? Or maybe just a 5K Marathon organized this month? Maybe your town or city hosts an annual event or monthly movie night at the Capitol? The possibilities are endless. Personally, I’m waiting for the Hot Air Balloons to arrive.
10. Shop Till You Drop. My husband and I, Oh we can shop.. for hours. Even if we don’t buy anything or even plan on buying anything. We love to go to different malls and outlets. We often just go window shopping. Admittedly, we do usually end up buying something but it is totally possible to not buy anything. Test your self control. We went 9+ months without splurging on buys for ourselves.. Minus birthdays of course. And it was hard, but we didn’t have the money to, so it was kind of inherent that we didn’t but still we enjoyed window shopping. The key is to be patient and wait for your turn to choose a shop. He ALWAYS want to go into the Apple or Windows stores. And I’m like dying of boredom just walking passed those stores. But I know it must be hard for him to be in Francesca’s Collections so. B.E. P.A.T.I.E.N.T and enjoy this time together. Looking at whatever your heart desires and even dropping a few $$$ for fun’s sake.
Disclaimer: These are just a few of our favorite things to do. Hopefully an out of the box list. And these things aren’t for everyone to do or try. Just to help kick start your awesome ideas on things to do instead of going to the movies. Thanks for reading.